Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
