I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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