I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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