he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
