Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
