I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
