this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
