I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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