And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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