went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
