I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
