I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
