another moral hangover. fuck.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
