You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Randomize
