I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
