There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
