Small penises have feelings too.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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