Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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