you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
