Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
