If i come over, it means nothing
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
