why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
