fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
