the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
