DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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