Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
