i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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