First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
