a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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