sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
