dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
