I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
