Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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