Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
