Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
