It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
