Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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