I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
