perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize