sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
