Moan for me like Helen Keller
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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