i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
