Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
