He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
