This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If I had your ass I would rule the world
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
