I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
