sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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