That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
