Can i not drive my cunt home
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
