I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Of course I have a pirate flag
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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