so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
